It was last December; just before the Christmas holidays the UK was lucky enough to see a flourish of snow into the new year. It was wonderful at first everyone loved it; people of all ages were out and about in the white gold dust which leads to the beginning I was walking through my local church cemetery a place of sanctuary in the summer, a place of mystic in the dark of winter and now a snowy wintry haven, a Santa grotto if you will except for all the dead body's buried in the ground unless of course it is the grotto of a murderous Santa who perhaps kidnaps children in his sack and maybe brings them to his wintry retreat to give to his elves to feast upon. Anyway I was walking through when all of a sudden I saw a group of teenagers up ahead "HMM trouble" I thought so went to a nearby bench sat opposite the boys but far enough away so to be hidden by the falling veil of snow; i felt like a spy and if i was much older I suppose a paedophile anyway as i was saying these boys cant have been much more than about 18 so young men really; and do u know what they were doing? They were building a snowman that's right all four of them clubbing together to construct there monument; it really was rather nice to see, OK they may have been building it right on the former grass verge before snow covered, the same verge which was next to the church door and right in front of several tombstones. However it wasn't sacrilege it was a sign of peace to the dead a happy snowman resting there too with there souls (corpses) that was when it happened before my very eyes the tallest one of the group picked up a massive clump of snow and he began to fashion it. That's right fashioning was going on in the shape of a great big snowy penis!! I was so flabbergasted I nearly fell off my bench I couldn't believe my eyes this happy smiling snowman was now beaming down upon the graves with an almighty stonker on; no wonder he was so happy. This former sign of peace this prior symbol beacon if you will of happiness had now been defaced for pleasure of the devil! So of course i approached the boys who saw me coming and said " do like our snowman?" and of course me being a man of faith i did not so i said " Oh I suppose some dickheads did that did they?" Before they could reply my confrontation was rudely disturbed by that of a rather burly middle aged chappy complete with girlfriend on arm laughing in delight at this abomination! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? His lady friend was also amused, of course i was aghast naturally the boys then repeated there question to this gentlemen who replied " bloody brilliant lads i av to whack mine with ammer to make it that big!" and with that he took a picture of it so of course for purely vigilante purposes i did the same the boys then mentioned he was called 'Enrique and with that they were gone I never did find out why me and my friends decided to call him that it just seemed apt :)
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